Looking back on the past few years, I look back at a girl that can say she enjoyed her teenager years. I thought I had experience what life was. I was at university, partying, loving life and then one day everything came to a stop. I dropped out of uni, two years deep and my life was at a standstill. I didn’t know what to do. This gave me time to look back and see what I want for the future. I went to university for for parents, to make them proud. Growing up that was the correct thing to do. You finish school, go to uni and graduate and get the best grad job and live happily ever after. This wasn’t the case for me. I had dropped out of university with no clue where to start. This is the time I took to evaluate what I want and where I want to be in the future. I looked around at all my friends, half of them in uni, continuing with their education, their parents proud of them and the other half which weren’t in education but in full time jobs, working, driving, travelling around the world. They all seemed to have their lifes in check. I sat back for a couple of months in a job which I didn’t see myself doing for the rest of life and tried to make the plans for my future. I felt like a failure.
I went into the a dark place where I felt worthless and a disappointment. One day I sat down and wrote a list of everything I was good at and everything I enjoyed. My positivity kicked in and I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started to make some moves. I had to evaluate what I felt sad about and how I could get my happiness back. I found a career path which I had the skills for and their was progression within the industry. I started do my driving lesson, passing my test which gives you so much more independence and I started blogging. I now attend the gym and I work hard for myself. I’ve realised that the only way I will ever be happy is all down to myself and how much I want it. I wanted to feel like I was doing good and I wanted to prove everyone wrong but then I realised I have to do what I want. I have to find a job which makes me happy and which I am interested in. When you don’t enjoy what you are doing, your not happy which results to never working hard to your full potential. Now my goals are not anyone but myself. I don’t look for appraisals, or compliments from others or confirmation that this is what I should be doing. I look all for it with in myself for myself. I do it to make myself proud, I make target and complete them because it makes me feel good and my it’s what I want to do. I’ve got independence and always try and stay positive. Anything negative, I remove from my life. I try and put myself in situation which I know that will benefit me. I do what I want to do and not because everyone is doing it or i’m told this is what I should be doing and it’s the right thing.
I look back and see that I was doing everything for everyone else and because I was told this is what is right but I wasn’t happy I was just going along with life. I’m now trying to practise everything I preach. For me to see change and growth within myself I need to take a step back , evaluate myself and actively create the change for myself. I’ve taken responsibility for myself, all the good and bad and now know the person I want to be. All I have to do it believe in myself. If i’m happy within myself and stay focused, the world is my oyster.
Personal Growth I believe only happens if you want it. I want it , i’m going to get it and be happy. Find it for yourself as you’re the only one which matters.
With Love, Yv